


Hurt

by nicodiver



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Body Positivity, Bullying, Canon Gay Relationship, Cute, Cute Ending, Declarations Of Love, Elf/Human Relationship(s), Love, M/M, Mage, Sappy, True Love, body negativity, dorian pavus - Freeform, dragon age inquisiton - Freeform, i hope i didnt make dorian OOC, lavellan - Freeform, male inquisitor - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-25 14:58:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3814723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicodiver/pseuds/nicodiver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joaquinn, the elf Inquisitor, has been feeling down lately about his appearance, but Dorian is there to comfort him.  </p><p>Does Dorian succeed or is it to no use?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hurt

**Author's Note:**

> Here is how Joaquinn looks like: http://imgur.com/aB4Luar for those who wonder! He has the british voice.

”Why are this pathetic, small excuse of a “human”, leading the great Inquisition? I don’t understand! It’s disastrous!” The man spat on the ground, his face was red with anger and disgust. “This knife-eared ugly little snotty boy will never lead the Inquisition into something good, he will only defile it with his ancient and outdated culture! Pah!”

“Hush you stupid fool! Eyes are watching us, you will be fired or even worse; executed!” The requisition officer tried to calm the man down but to no avail.

“Do you really think I care if this knife ear wants to fire me? I will leave by myself, I don’t believe he will bring us any good any way!” The man released himself from the officer’s grip and took off his helmet and by that, he left the Inquisition.

Joaquinn, the Lavellan elf and mage, was hiding in the dark around a corner. He had heard every single thing the man had said and he was glad that the man had left. He didn’t want anyone with dehumanizing views working within the Inquisition. This wasn’t the first time he had been a victim of racial slurs though, it was very common, especially among humans. It always hurt a bit, no matter how many times he had heard the slurs. The elf went away from the corner and back into the main building of Skyhold.  
Dinner had just been made, so everyone was eating cheerfully and when Joaquinn entered the hall, everyone started shouting and cheering. The one who was shouting loudest, was Iron Bull. He climbed on top of his chair and waved with both of his muscular arms.

“Boss! Hey! How are you doing? Nice seeing you!” he shouted and smiled widely. Joaquinn forced a smile and sat down on his giant, gold-plated chair and started picking the food. 

Tonight’s dinner was grilled Druffalo venison together with potatoes, carrots and sauce. Joaquinn usually liked it, but today he wasn’t feeling hungry. He just sat there, picking the food without eating anything. Cole cooped out beside him and stared at him for a moment with big, glossy eyes.

“Are you hurt Inquisitor?” he asked slowly, his voice worried.

Joaquinn eyed the less spirit-more human male and then shook his head.

“No, it’s nothing. It’s fine,” he lied and faked a smile. Cole frowned for a moment, but then he left the table and walked out of the main hall. 

Joaquinn called for a servant to take his food away, he was just going to leave the table when a large hand grabbed his arm.

“Darling?” the soft and seductive voice of Dorian sent chills down Joaquinn’s spine. The elf looked up at the human with his green eyes.

“Yes?” he asked, smiling a bit as he saw Dorian’s beautiful face.

“How are you? You look a bit down”, Dorian said worriedly and gave Joaquinn’s cheek a soft caress.

“I’m fine. Nothing to worry about!” Joaquinn said hastily, wanting to get away from the main hall and be alone.

“If you say so. See you later tonight?” Dorian’s voice was filled with desire and anticipation.

Joaquinn just nodded, released himself calmly from Dorian’s touch not to worry the man and went with hasty steps to his quarters. As soon as he entered the room, he flopped down on the large Orleasian bed with a loud sigh. Why did so many people dislike him because of his appearance? Why did they mock his ears and his tattoo, and his origin? He couldn’t help that he was born an elf. He couldn’t help the way he looked. He couldn’t help that he was the “chosen one”, that he had the green mark on his hand. He sighed again, this time with tears in his eyes. They stung and burned, a feeling he wasn’t used to. There had been a while since he last had cried. He remembered the day he heard from Leliana that his clan had been wiped out, they had been murdered from crimes they had not committed. Why did humans despise him, when it was them who murdered innocent people?! They should despise themselves.

Joaquinn buried his tear-stained face into his pillow and let out an agonizing cry. It felt like a black, bleeding hole had suddenly opened in his chest and he didn’t know how to close it. His feelings overwhelmed him and he cried bitterly until there were no tears left. He dried them off with the small area of the pillow that wasn’t wet from his tears and rose from the bed to look at himself in the mirror. He despised what he saw. He understood now what the humans meant. He saw how his ears stood out prominently, making him look like some animal, a rabbit perhaps or a nug. He saw how his nose was crooked in an ugly way, he saw his large, freckled forehead with the tattoo of Mythal. Suddenly, he got an urge to just rip it off. He didn’t want to see the tree anymore.

Joaquinn closed his eyes and felt an indescribable warmth coming out of his hands, fire was all that he was thinking as he was about to burn his flesh off when an icicle suddenly pierced through the fire and it sizzled out. He looked angrily from where the icicle had come from and saw Dorian standing in the door opening, his eyes filled with worry.

“What are you doing? Are you trying to kill yourself?!” Dorian shouted angrily and grabbed Joaquinn harshly, bringing the smaller elf to his chest and forcing him to stay there. “What are you up to? You scared me half to death!” Dorian murmured, trying to calm Joaquinn down with soft strokes up and down his back.

“I don’t… I don’t want to talk about it”, Joaquinn said, trying to squirm his way out of Dorian’s embrace but the human was stronger than him.

“Yes, you are going to talk about it!” Dorian said determined, stared into Joaquinn’s eyes. “It is of highly importance you talk about this with me”, he said firmly.

Joaquinn clenched his jaw and let out a sigh. He didn’t want Dorian to see this embarrassing and ugly side of him. He didn’t want Dorian to know what he actually felt about himself and his appearance every now and then.

“I…” Joaquinn looked away but Dorian put his fingers softly under Joaquinn’s chin and turned the elf’s face towards his.

“You can look at me. You have nothing to be afraid of”, he whispered.

“I don’t like my appearance, or rather, I have problems with it. I don’t like being an elf. I don’t like my protruding rabbit ears and crooked nose. I don’t like my vallaslin, I regret I even put it on my forehead. I just… don’t appreciate myself”, Joaquinn said quietly, his cheeks turning a bit red from confessing one of his worst fears.

Dorian looked at him for some moments, then he dug his fingers softly into Joaquinn’s hair and placed his lips on Joaquinn’s forehead and kissed it.

“I think you are the most beautiful man I have ever laid my eyes on, regardless of what you think. I have always find your ears special, I love how they look and feel. I love your freckles, they look like stars, each one special with its own name. I love your vallaslin, it’s you in a way. The way it’s painted, the smooth lines and beautiful painted markings, it just reminds me of you and it’s beautiful. You are gorgeous in every single way. I don’t care what other might think. They are not seeing you, or your people, for the way you really are. They do not see the magic of you, of your being. Neither here”, Dorian gave Joaquinn’s forehead another kiss.

“Or here”, Dorian placed his hand on Joaquinn’s heart.

“People will always be narrow-minded and they will always look down on people who are different from themselves. But don’t let them put you down, don’t let their meaningless bullying be something you take part of. You are unique, don’t let them diminish you because of your differences. The world would be so boring without people like you.” Dorian put a hair away from Joaquinn’s face and put it behind his ear.

Joaquinn looked at Dorian with tears in his eyes, he had never heard anyone say anything like this to him before. Sure, he had been praised by his Keeper and of course, by the people who followed him in the Inquisition, but never like this. He leaned towards Dorian’s face and placed his lips on Dorian’s, giving him a passionate kiss filled with love and compassion. 

“I love you Dorian. I love you deeply. Thank you”, he murmured gratefully, enjoying being so close to the man he loved.

“I love you too Joaquinn. You mean the world to me. And I never want the world to hurt you”, Dorian replied, hugging the elf tightly. They embraced each other for some time, before Dorian’s eyes glinted with a sudden humor and he went into a slow dance with the Inquisitor. They danced out slowly to the balcony, watching the moon rising and the stars glinting, enjoying each other’s company under the sky.

Joaquinn crept under the duvet, Dorian quickly following. They looked into each other’s eyes and smiled. Dorian put his index finger carefully on Joaquinn’s forehead and started counting his freckles.

“You have approximately a hundred unique stars adorning your face, and I’m going to name them all”, Dorian chuckled and kissed the top of Joaquinn’s nose.

“You are more than welcome to”, Joaquinn smiled and gave Dorian’s lips a quick peck.


End file.
